Of Hypocrites and Me

I never was good at managing money. When I got my first checking account as a high schooler, I think I overdrafted at least 10 times in the first four months. The simple fact is, I spend more than I make. This is very troubling for me to come to grips with right now. I have a tendency to get into arguments with middle and upper middle class friends of mine over the disparity between the rich and the poor. I lament at the fact that we in the upper strata are able to have so much stuff and yet still seem so unsatisfied. I'll rant and rave over the fact that we don't give to our hurting brothers and sisters and instead will spend our money on the latest fashion fad, the newest gadget, or on overpriced restaurants. But when I look at myself, at what I spend my money on, on what i've done to help my poor brother or sister, I should be slow to speak. I am undeniably one of the largest hypocrites I have yet to meet and know. This is very troubling. So as I find myself falling more deeply into debt, seeing my once significant surplus of money dwindle to mere cents, I must stop to pause and reflect on the state of my heart. Am I serving our Lord with my usage of money? Or am I serving my own selfish desires? I think one glance at my last checking statement will show the answer. I have been humbled, I only pray this will lead to change.